Emotional abuse works like this: You are screamed at,
and then, not knowing any better, you stand up for
yourself. You think this is a way of being strong. You
think this is a defense tactic.But this only provokes more
screaming. Going silent provokes more screaming too,
but usually it keeps the threats to the minimum. It keeps
it just at screaming and not: a shove down the stairs, or
order to pack your stuff and get out. So you learn how
to go silent. How to play dead. How to cry without
making a noise. How to swallow noise. How to wipe your
cheeks, get out of the car, and go about your day. You
learn. And when the screaming has stopped, when the
two of you are in the car or out to dinner and they're all
smiles, all asking for favors, all questions, you are still
hurt and annoyed and want to ask them, how? How can
you speak to me like that? How can you pretend you did
not say those things? How can you have forgotten? But
you've learned. So you listen to, "Can I borrow your
key"s and "how was your day"s and you play dead. You
swallow the noise. And sometimes it doesn't matter who
is speaking to you, it doesn't matter if they're a friend, it
doesn't matter if their criticism is constructive, it doesn't
matter. You've learned. Any sort of speaking, any raising
of the voice, any insult and you play dead
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